I.Miss.My.Old.Life
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my old life. Things are so different now. We have a mortgage, a child and a brand new life.
YES. These are the things I had been hoping and praying for before. I don't see alot of conversation about how HARD this transition is.
Here is our timeline of 2022:
February- We were notified that our rent would increase by $400, we immediately found a realtor and started the homebuying process.
March- We went looking for houses in the crazy rat-race market. Fail. We did not see anything worth buying and the team of people helping us were inconsistent. We put it on hold.
May- We stumbled upon a newbuild community with townhomes in our price range ( hallelujah) We did a tour 2x, deposit was put down the following week, we found our home. The process was so smooth.
August- Baby girl arrived
September- We moved into our townhome ( it was finished early) final deposit was due a few weeks before we moved in. We were saving like there was NO tomorrow from June-September
November- Hubby gets a position at his dream company but it came with a pay CUT. We adjusted and tried to make it work (on paper). Everything looks simple on paper lol
Here we are now in May 2023. I'm so glad we have made it this far. Honor is the highlight of our lives. She is literally the most lovable, silly little girl. I suffered from postpartum depression, anxiety, baby blues, etc. I was NOT ready for what was happening. Our finances were about to shift tremendously, while raising a new baby and trying to stay sane.
Babies are expensive. Formula, diapers, pumps, clothes, doctor visits, insurance premiums, etc. I was not ready for the additional expenses. My life used to look so different than this. I used to be able to pay MYSELF, my bills, Invest and still have money left over to spend how I like. I was living great while meeting my financial goals. I didn’t miss a beat. We used to travel often, eat out, make big purchases sometimes randomly, donate to various charities; we didn't really have too much to worry about.
This transition to motherhood and buying the house really made me take a big PAUSE and reflect. It was the RESET that i needed to show me the waves of life. They are not always big but they are always moving and flowing. It took me a while to accept this.
It came to a point where I had to cut: contributing to my Roth IRA, saving for Honor, saving in general, and ALOT of my discretionary spending. I had to be okay with not having the extra funds to do those things. It sucks when you have a clearview of how you want your finances to look and there is a hiccup on your plan. The temporary hiccups fill sooo permanent in the moment. I even avoided looking at the spreadsheet. Yall know I love the spreadsheet.
As a Money Coach- I felt incompetent. Life happened and everything was beyond my control but I still felt that I could have avoided some of this for some reason. I felt that I could not help people with their money goals if mine were nonexistent.
I had many conversations with my therapist, husband, and close friends about how I felt. Of course they told me that I was tripping and that this was just a major bump in the road that would HELP ELEVATE me as a money coach.
AND IT HAS.
These life transitions have taught me:
1) Financial Discipline- Knowing when to say no. It’s not a death sentence.
2) Delayed gratification- The world and social media has led us to believe that we gotta have it all and we gotta have it all right now. This is a TRAP that can negatively affect your finances.
3) PATIENCE- This is the biggest lesson that is ongoing in my life.
4) How to still enjoy life when your money has changed. It is still possible, you just have to pivot, and PLAN ahead a lot.
5) To never compare your financial journey to anyone- You don't know their story, inheritance, or what resources they may have.
We are still adjusting- not where we want to be but we are on a new journey and the only way is forward. Life gets rough, keep moving. You cannot and will not see the light at the end of the tunnel if you sit still.
I miss my old life but I growing to cherish the transitions of this new one.
Thank you for reading :)
